I love my children. Really, I do. So why do I want to hide? Everything started out fine. The cutie-pies crawled into bed with me this morning and we had precious snuggle time. I absolutely love the moments when their bodies are still warm, cheeks still rosy and we cuddle with no concern for anything except being close and comfy. I love that! They are so delicious!

It was all wonderful… until we got out of bed. By 7:30, my beautiful girls were fighting over who knows what. Because they had stayed up too late, they were cranky, whiny and loud- my favorite combination. I managed to not completely loose it, muttering under my breath, “Help me, Jesus!” But the downward spiral had begun.

Every little thing began to get under my skin. James was late getting home, the little one was devastated because the beads came off the necklace she cut (shocker!), the older one wanted the keys the little one was playing with…. cry, whine, cry, whine. Can I just crawl back into bed? Please?

My emotions were just fried. I felt like any little thing had the potential to set me off. I went to my husband for a hug. “What’s wrong?” “I just need a hug.” “Is it that time of the month?” he asks nicely? Am I the only one who despises that question? So what if it is?!?! What’s your point? My poor husband.

Honestly, I never knew I had so much anger and crud inside me until I had kids. Ahhh… the sanctification process. My old pastor’s wife used to tell me that it was a good sign that crud was coming out because it was making room for God to pour in His love. Well, apparently I have a lot of room now. I certainly need God’s love. A lot of it.

Having children has taught me so much. I’m not as good as I thought I was. Not as patient, loving or kind. I need Him so much. Every hour, every moment apparently because my love runs out before I get out of bed. Strong, right? The good news is that His love never fails. His patience never wares thin. More good news? He has given me everything I need for godliness. And more? I can take His nature instead of mine. Everyone in my home will appreciate that.

The catch? I have to act. I need to take. He’s done His part and now I have to do mine. I need to know and stand on His promises, and allow His Word to change me. I need to know and thank Him that His divine power has given me everything that pertains to life and godliness. I need to receive His love so I can give what my family really needs; a love that will never fail. His love. If that means every five minutes asking Him for help or standing on His promises, so be it. The best news, He’s waiting and willing.

A friend of mine told me a story of a woman who would climb in her child’s pack and play when she felt like she was going to explode. With her Bible in hand, she would read, pray and have Jesus time even if it was 10 or 15 minutes. It didn’t take long for her children to know that was a good thing. In time, they would lovingly suggest she go into the pack and play for Jesus time. In went mommie monster, out came loving, peaceful, transformed mommie.

Take your time-out, Mommie. I certainly am.

“Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.”  2 Peter 1:2-4 (italics added)