What Now? How to Say No to Stress & Yes to Peace: MC#8

May 21, 2012 By Leave a Comment

We’ve said no to stress and yes to peace.  Sometimes easier said than done, right?  Before I start cutting, slashing, I need to examine what’s really going on. Yes, the E word.  Evaluate.   What’s working for me?  What’s not? What’s causing stress? No, my kids are not the problem.  They are my priority.

I need to examine my habits. It’s not the occasional change that really puts me in a bind; it’s my bad habits.  For example, every day around 4:30 my pulse began to quicken.   “What in the world are we going to have for dinner tonight?  More chicken?! Ugh.  How about spaghetti?  No tomato sauce.  Curry? No coconut milk.  Now what?”  Ahhh…the dinnertime dreads. [Read more...]

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Filed Under: Goals, Habits, Intentional Living, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Not the Holy Option: MC#3

April 24, 2012 By Leave a Comment

It’s the forgotten commandment.  I’m down with “Do not murder”, “Do not lie”, “Do not steal”. Every now and then I have to remind myself not to covet my neighbor’s stuff or circumstance (I am so blessed!). There’s just that one little commandment that I don’t keep. If I think about it, I am kind of surprised that it’s listed with the “big” ones like murder, stealing and worship.  Can you guess what it is?

“You shall keep holy the Sabbath.  On 6 days you shall labor, but on the 7th you shall rest.  You shall do no work….”

What?!

Do you know I’m a mom?  Is that possible?  A day of rest?  Sounds quite glorious, actually.

In the first years of our marriage, Sundays would find James relaxing on the couch and Michele running around doing laundry, cooking, making lists, cleaning, organizing… whatever I could to “get things done”.  He would look at me and say, “Would you please sit down and relax?”

“Easy for him to say!”  I would think.  “Who is going to do the laundry, grocery shopping, cooking… I have to do these things!”    Yes, I would “get things done” but then be a nervous wreck at the end of the day, frustrated and overwhelmed that Monday was a few hours away. Back to the rat race…

We all need rest.  God Himself set the example in Genesis when He worked for 6 days then rested on the 7th.  He designed us in such a way that we need rest.  And obviously, some of us need to be told to rest (if the shoe fits…).

Yes, as moms we have responsibilities we cannot shirk. You cannot ignore your children or let them go hungry.  But you also don’t have to fix a 5 course meal every day or spend your Sunday wiping base boards.  If they’ve waited this long,  they can wait another day.

What I’m saying is this:  Mommie, find ways to rest.  Look at your calender, see what you can do to free up a day to enjoy your family.  Ask for help.  Plan, cook before hand or have cereal for dinner.  Take off the guilt of false responsibility and take a Sabbath.  God knows you need it. I need it.  If I want Mommie Monster to stay away, I better make time to rest.  My family will thank me for it.

Remember, keeping a Sabbath is not a holy option, it’s a commandment.

 Mommie Commandment #3

You shall make time to rest (Yes, Mommie needs to rest!).

Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. Exodus 20:8-11

 

 

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Filed Under: Mommie Commandments, Rest, Stress Tagged With: , , , , ,

Moving to Brazil

March 15, 2012 By 2 Comments

“How do you schedule your day?” my friend Annie asked me.  “I’m completely overwhelmed with everything I’m doing: kids, work, house…. How do you do it all?  I feel like I’m not doing anything well.”  Ahhh… the laments of a modern mommie.  (By the way, who says I do it all?)

“I have to move to Brazil.”  The day before, Annie got together with a friend of hers from Brazil.  They started talking about cultural differences and there were many.  She had come from a part of Brazil where each family had a housekeeper/ nanny/ cook and landscapers.  Annie asked her, “Well, what do the women do?” “Look pretty.”  Annie replied, “I think I could do that.”  Me too.

I sat with my girlfriend Annie and she looked at me, waiting for my reply, as if my words of wisdom would somehow unlock the door to more hours in her day or magical time management skills.  I wish.  Sounds nice, doesn’t it? I don’t think I’d want more hours in the day. I think I’d cram more into my to-do list, as if it’s not jammed already. Better time management skills? Maybe.  That’s really an issue of vision and priorities. When you’re clear on vision, time management is not really an issue. I think the real issue is expectations. Why do we think we have to do it all?

What is it about modern culture that moms feel like we have to have a perfect house, perfect lawn, perfect kids in multiple extra-curriculars, perfect figure, time to work, time to cook healthy meals, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla….?  I’m guilty too.  I have a bunch of moms coming over tomorrow night for dessert and it’s turned into mow the grass, fertilize the plants, put spring flowers out, wash the windows, power wash the house, clean the floors, dust, make several dishes…. What is wrong with me? It’s dessert.  For a bunch of moms!  They have dust on their end tables too!  I mean, really.

Let’s get it out on the table.  I’m not perfect.  Surprise, surprise. Who am I trying to impress?  Do weeds in the lawn or dishes in the sink mean I’m somehow less of a friend?  Does the ring in the toilet mean I’ve failed? Where is my approval coming from?  The Apostle Paul addressed my mommie issues in Galatians.

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10

Wow.   That pretty much says it. I have no one to please but God. And how do I please Him?  With faith – believing in Him (Hebrews 11:6). He doesn’t measure me by my dust.  He doesn’t expect me to have it all together. He sees me with all my strengths and weaknesses and loves me the same.  If anyone else has a problem with the dust, too bad. I’m going to rest in my Father’s arms and enjoy dessert with my friends – dirty windows and all.

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Filed Under: Mommie Guilt, Routines, Stress, Time Management Tagged With: , , , ,

The Mommie Commandments

December 1, 2011 By 1 Comment

Why are moms always tired?  Why do we compare ourselves to other moms (not to mention the airbrushed Hollywood ones)?  Why in the world do we speak down about ourselves or think our house always needs to be perfect??? Common Mommies! We can do better!  Read and keep The Mommie Commandments close to heart. They will help us in our common Mommie challenges and weaknesses.  Is it exhaustive, no.   Helpful, fun and true?  Yes.  Let’s keep these in mind as we move forward together, growing as Mommie. [Read more...]

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Filed Under: Intentional Living, Mommie Commandments Tagged With: , ,

Mommie Guilt

September 22, 2011 By 1 Comment

Mommie Guilt.  Uggghhh.  Beware, it comes in many forms.  You feel guilty for not spending enough time with the kids because you’re doing laundry and fixing lunch while on the phone with the cable repairman (“Shhh!”).  Then you spend time with the kids and the house doesn’t get cleaned. Surprise, surprise, you feel guilty for the dirty house.

And then there’s that awful guilty feeling that we never want to admit: “Is this really my life?  Change poop, play dress up, make lunch, change a wet one, play dress up, make a snack, play the same thing again and again, change another poop, make dinner, go to sleep and then do it all over again. ”  Of course, I love it.  I really love it.  But every now and then, that dreaded feeling comes in…. yes, that’s right, Mommie Guilt.

I suggest that there are two kinds of Mommie Guilt. The first kind deals with what we have to do: i.e. take care of kids, house, rest of family. The second kind deals with who we are:  Mom, wife, daughter, friend, etc. [Read more...]

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Filed Under: Identity, Intentional Living, Mission, Mommie Guilt, Routines, Survival Mode, Who Are You Tagged With: , , , , ,
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