“Mommie, I don’t want you to die!”
That is what I woke up to this morning. It was 6:05a and Pie*, my almost 4 year old was standing by my bed with quivering lips. “Mommie, I would miss you so much. Please don’t die.” I pulled her up on the bed. “What are you talking about, Sweetheart? Did you have a bad dream?”
“I’d miss you so much. I don’t want you to die.” She put her still warm hands on my cheeks, her face was close enough to Eskimo kiss. Her eyes were full of tears.
I started to tell her that I wasn’t going to die today. I’m perfectly healthy, nothing remotely indicating that I’m anywhere near death. Then I remembered the Bible study I’ve been doing for 7 weeks, Beth Moore’s Mercy Triumphs on the Book of James. (Absolutely amazing. If you have the chance, do it!)
James 4:14-15 says, “ …whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.’” Even at 6:10a, I managed to have a shred of discernment and stopped myself from promising not to die today.
”I don’t think I’m going to die today, sweetheart. But that doesn’t matter. The great news is because we both love Jesus we will be together forever in heaven. Forever.”
“I’m really going to miss you, Mommie.”
“We’re going to be together forever, my love.”
I held her precious warm body close to mine. The truth is I didn’t know what would happen today. Only God knew.
But it was a great reminder.
I didn’t mind the mess in the kitchen today. I didn’t rush upstairs to workout but instead read to the girls and cuddled them close. Instead of looking past them to concentrate on everything that I “had” to do, I looked past what I “had” to do and concentrated on the girls.
No, I didn’t think I was going to die today. But it was a wonderful lesson to treasure the moments I would have otherwise let pass by. We’re not promised time, but we have an opportunity to embrace and treasure the our families now.
I’m going to go kiss my babies…now.
We’ll be back to The Mommie Commandments next week. This was just too good to pass up.
* I keep my children’s names private. On the blog, I refer to my 5 ½ yr old as Boo and my almost 4 yr old as Pie.