Not the Holy Option: MC#3

It’s the forgotten commandment.  I’m down with “Do not murder”, “Do not lie”, “Do not steal”. Every now and then I have to remind myself not to covet my neighbor’s stuff or circumstance (I am so blessed!). There’s just that one little commandment that I don’t keep. If I think about it, I am kind of surprised that it’s listed with the “big” ones like murder, stealing and worship.  Can you guess what it is?

“You shall keep holy the Sabbath.  On 6 days you shall labor, but on the 7th you shall rest.  You shall do no work….”

What?!

Do you know I’m a mom?  Is that possible?  A day of rest?  Sounds quite glorious, actually.

In the first years of our marriage, Sundays would find James relaxing on the couch and Michele running around doing laundry, cooking, making lists, cleaning, organizing… whatever I could to “get things done”.  He would look at me and say, “Would you please sit down and relax?”

“Easy for him to say!”  I would think.  “Who is going to do the laundry, grocery shopping, cooking… I have to do these things!”    Yes, I would “get things done” but then be a nervous wreck at the end of the day, frustrated and overwhelmed that Monday was a few hours away. Back to the rat race…

We all need rest.  God Himself set the example in Genesis when He worked for 6 days then rested on the 7th.  He designed us in such a way that we need rest.  And obviously, some of us need to be told to rest (if the shoe fits…).

Yes, as moms we have responsibilities we cannot shirk. You cannot ignore your children or let them go hungry.  But you also don’t have to fix a 5 course meal every day or spend your Sunday wiping base boards.  If they’ve waited this long,  they can wait another day.

What I’m saying is this:  Mommie, find ways to rest.  Look at your calender, see what you can do to free up a day to enjoy your family.  Ask for help.  Plan, cook before hand or have cereal for dinner.  Take off the guilt of false responsibility and take a Sabbath.  God knows you need it. I need it.  If I want Mommie Monster to stay away, I better make time to rest.  My family will thank me for it.

Remember, keeping a Sabbath is not a holy option, it’s a commandment.

 Mommie Commandment #3

You shall make time to rest (Yes, Mommie needs to rest!).

Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. Exodus 20:8-11

 

 

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A Mommie Time-Out

I love my children. Really, I do. So why do I want to hide? Everything started out fine. The cutie-pies crawled into bed with me this morning and we had precious snuggle time. I absolutely love the moments when their bodies are still warm, cheeks still rosy and we cuddle with no concern for anything except being close and comfy. I love that! They are so delicious!

It was all wonderful… until we got out of bed. By 7:30, my beautiful girls were fighting over who knows what. Because they had stayed up too late, they were cranky, whiny and loud- my favorite combination. I managed to not completely loose it, muttering under my breath, “Help me, Jesus!” But the downward spiral had begun.

Every little thing began to get under my skin. James was late getting home, the little one was devastated because the beads came off the necklace she cut (shocker!), the older one wanted the keys the little one was playing with…. cry, whine, cry, whine. Can I just crawl back into bed? Please?

My emotions were just fried. I felt like any little thing had the potential to set me off. I went to my husband for a hug. “What’s wrong?” “I just need a hug.” “Is it that time of the month?” he asks nicely? Am I the only one who despises that question? So what if it is?!?! What’s your point? My poor husband.

Honestly, I never knew I had so much anger and crud inside me until I had kids. Ahhh… the sanctification process. My old pastor’s wife used to tell me that it was a good sign that crud was coming out because it was making room for God to pour in His love. Well, apparently I have a lot of room now. I certainly need God’s love. A lot of it.

Having children has taught me so much. I’m not as good as I thought I was. Not as patient, loving or kind. I need Him so much. Every hour, every moment apparently because my love runs out before I get out of bed. Strong, right? The good news is that His love never fails. His patience never wares thin. More good news? He has given me everything I need for godliness. And more? I can take His nature instead of mine. Everyone in my home will appreciate that.

The catch? I have to act. I need to take. He’s done His part and now I have to do mine. I need to know and stand on His promises, and allow His Word to change me. I need to know and thank Him that His divine power has given me everything that pertains to life and godliness. I need to receive His love so I can give what my family really needs; a love that will never fail. His love. If that means every five minutes asking Him for help or standing on His promises, so be it. The best news, He’s waiting and willing.

A friend of mine told me a story of a woman who would climb in her child’s pack and play when she felt like she was going to explode. With her Bible in hand, she would read, pray and have Jesus time even if it was 10 or 15 minutes. It didn’t take long for her children to know that was a good thing. In time, they would lovingly suggest she go into the pack and play for Jesus time. In went mommie monster, out came loving, peaceful, transformed mommie.

Take your time-out, Mommie. I certainly am.

“Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.”  2 Peter 1:2-4 (italics added)

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Moving to Brazil

“How do you schedule your day?” my friend Annie asked me.  “I’m completely overwhelmed with everything I’m doing: kids, work, house…. How do you do it all?  I feel like I’m not doing anything well.”  Ahhh… the laments of a modern mommie.  (By the way, who says I do it all?)

“I have to move to Brazil.”  The day before, Annie got together with a friend of hers from Brazil.  They started talking about cultural differences and there were many.  She had come from a part of Brazil where each family had a housekeeper/ nanny/ cook and landscapers.  Annie asked her, “Well, what do the women do?” “Look pretty.”  Annie replied, “I think I could do that.”  Me too.

I sat with my girlfriend Annie and she looked at me, waiting for my reply, as if my words of wisdom would somehow unlock the door to more hours in her day or magical time management skills.  I wish.  Sounds nice, doesn’t it? I don’t think I’d want more hours in the day. I think I’d cram more into my to-do list, as if it’s not jammed already. Better time management skills? Maybe.  That’s really an issue of vision and priorities. When you’re clear on vision, time management is not really an issue. I think the real issue is expectations. Why do we think we have to do it all?

What is it about modern culture that moms feel like we have to have a perfect house, perfect lawn, perfect kids in multiple extra-curriculars, perfect figure, time to work, time to cook healthy meals, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla….?  I’m guilty too.  I have a bunch of moms coming over tomorrow night for dessert and it’s turned into mow the grass, fertilize the plants, put spring flowers out, wash the windows, power wash the house, clean the floors, dust, make several dishes…. What is wrong with me? It’s dessert.  For a bunch of moms!  They have dust on their end tables too!  I mean, really.

Let’s get it out on the table.  I’m not perfect.  Surprise, surprise. Who am I trying to impress?  Do weeds in the lawn or dishes in the sink mean I’m somehow less of a friend?  Does the ring in the toilet mean I’ve failed? Where is my approval coming from?  The Apostle Paul addressed my mommie issues in Galatians.

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10

Wow.   That pretty much says it. I have no one to please but God. And how do I please Him?  With faith – believing in Him (Hebrews 11:6). He doesn’t measure me by my dust.  He doesn’t expect me to have it all together. He sees me with all my strengths and weaknesses and loves me the same.  If anyone else has a problem with the dust, too bad. I’m going to rest in my Father’s arms and enjoy dessert with my friends – dirty windows and all.

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